A friend or acquaintance tells you that their new baby has down syndrome and you are stunned and at a lost for words. Your first instinct will be to offer your sympathy and feel sorry for the new parents, but please don't!

I would encourage you to say the very same things that all parents want to hear- CONGRATULATIONS! Boy or girl? How much did he weigh? Does he look more like mom or dad? Is he healthy? If not, then you could safely say, " I am sorry to hear that, how can I help you?"
Then be willing to volunteer to bring a meal to two, offer to take other children for day or even an afternoon. If the other siblings are older, offer to take them with your family on outings.

This is not to say that you should ignore the DS or the fact that the mother is most likely struggling with all kinds of mixed emotions at this point! Be ready to listen with an open mind. If you are a close friend, be ready to offer support and also hope. The internet is a wonderful place to find all kinds of stories about families who want you to know that this child is a huge blessing.

Here are some things parents on the DSIE list serv have heard from others over the years:

"I know people don't mean it wrong or hurtful when they say it, but... I am just so tired of hearing, "God knew what he was doing when he gave you Hunter, because I just couldn't handle it". Like he SUCH a burden and we are just so good at carrying that burden... Sometimes when I've had a trying day and feel mean, LOL, I just look at them and don't say a word."
Patty